To mark the 2008 International Women’s day and to celebrate the first anniversary of the Village 4 Women’s Group, 20 women and children enjoyed a relaxing day trip to Tonle Bathey in Takeo province. Chet Sabaras - the name given to the group by its 20 or so core members - translates as kindness or compassion in English. This is a word that the women living in one of the capitals many slum communities, on the banks of Beoneg Kak Lake, use to describe how they hope to support their families, their friends and their community through their participation in the group.International Women’s Day provides an arena for global awareness about the rights of women and moreover, how, for the majority of women, these rights are systematically disregarded. Sat on a stilted platform at the edge of the Tonle Sap River, the question was posed to the women’s group:
“Why is there an International Women’s Day and not an International Men’s Day?”
“Because everyday is International Men’s Day!” Joked one member.
After years of advocacy training workshops, speeches, peaceful protests, trade union organising, exchange programs, innovative media campaigning and discussion groups initiated by scores of UN agencies, NGO’s, civil society groups and GO’s; most Cambodian’s have some understanding of gender inequality. Yet, it’s the complex web of traditional cultural practice, autocratic governance, draconian public policy, civil war and grinding poverty that maintains Khmer women’s subservient position to men’s. This position manifests itself in myriad ways from the extreme exploitation of women through prolific sex trafficking and gang rape, to the more subtle daily challenges posed by the socially accepted, stringent controls placed on women’s behaviour.A vivid
depiction of women’s place in society was offered by the group as they discussed words that describe women. In this order, they listed:- Good at cleaning
- Tidy
- Polite
- Care giver
- Compassionate to all children
- Making the family feel warm
- Good cook
- Honest to husband
- Household budgeter
- Universal mothers
The discussion ended with a Cambodian proverb which roughly translates as:
“If the soup is delicious it depends on the seasoning, if the family is happy, it depends on the women.”
With strong echoes of the lessons taught by Chebab Srey - a morality code for “good women” still universally taught in Cambodian schools - this list lacks the very words that warrant respect in contemporary Cambodian society.
For the residents of the Village 4 slum, it is not only the women that are confronted by the daily struggles of discrimination. According to the rigorous hierarchy of Cambodian society, the mostly unskilled, uneducated, migrant workers from rural villages that constitute the majority of male urban slum dwellers; they are firmly placed at the bottom of the heap. Lacking a political voice and social and economic capital; the men struggle to gain power and status in the public domain. That sense of lost power is sought to be retrieved within the private sphere of the family, which all too often reveals itself in alcohol fuelled domestic violence and authoritarian parental control.
The women of Village 4 talk openly about their frustration at carrying the burden of the bulk of familial responsibilities, yet lacking the power that they rightly deserve in the home and in society in general. But it’s their lack of power to improve the living standards of their children that cuts the deepest. Some are forced to send their children to work or leave their children unsupervised while they go to work to supplement the meagre household income. Some loose this income to their husbands gambling and drinking binges, or their own, as they grapple with their deep dissatisfactions of their living situations. Some have asked why they should care about the environmental problems in their community when they have no rice to feed their children. Some ask why they should exercise and take care of their own health when their children are plagued by frequent illnesses.
And so the great question burns on the tongues of these women, the wives, mothers and sisters of the urban poor: “How do we rise ourselves when all we face are closed doors?”
The flame of a small match has been ignited, and in many subtle ways that light keeps burning brighter. The core members of Chet Sabaras are united and strong, eager to participate and learn. Outspoken members are representing their community to fight the upcoming forced evection they face. They are asking endless questions about family heath, nutrition, child education, reproductive health and human rights. Regardless of what the feminists think, these women value their roles, those very roles depicted in the Chebab Srey, and they intend to uphold their duties with resilience and dignity. There will be no angry eruption of unified voices from the women of Village 4. This revolution is taking form, little by little, step by step as they waken their senses to new ideas and external stimulus. Even if the doors remain closed for themselves, they will try, with the up most integrity to open some for their children. It is their nurturing hands that carry the future of Cambodia.
